Hello all! I'm so glad you chose to join me again for "You Are Worthless" Wednesday. Today's segment is dedicated to readers who are on Facebook.
I would like to start by asking; where exactly do you think these blogs come from? Do you think the blog fairy drops a new gem on my pillow twice a week? Or do you think there is a magical bunny that leaves me colorful plastic eggs with shiny new blogs inside? The answer is no, on both accounts. And if you did believe this to be true not only are you worthless, but you are bat crazy loco too (thanks for the phrase http://www.perpetualbridesmaid.com/ ). The truth is that I personally brainstorm and type these masterpieces myself, all while neglecting housework and my family. I do this all for free and never ask anything from you in return. That is until now. In the last week the Mouthy Mommy has scored herself a pimp called the Mouthy Mavens. (They are the reason my blog page got such an amazing face lift...You're welcome.) In return for the Mouthy Mommy's blogs they are asking that people become a fan of the Mouthy Mavens on Facebook. The Facebook page will allow you to access MouthyMommy.com easily and allow you to gain access to me on twitter as well. It isn't hard; all you have to do is sign into your Facebook account. Type Mouthy Mavens in the search box. Hit enter. Then click "Become a Fan" next to the Mouthy Mavens icon. Or you can click on the link that sits at the top left of The Mouthy Mommy's blog page. Sounds easy right? Then why is it that you are still not a fan? Is it because you are worthless? Or is it because you're incompetent? Either way, take a few minutes while you're stalking your exes and old high school friends on Facebook to sign up. Or shoot me an e-mail and I will send you a personalized tutorial complete with pictures, detailed directions and a sketched outline of my middle finger.
I know I cannot force you to do anything, after all I am not your mother. And I really hope you thank God for that too, because if I were your mother, you can bet there would be a few new additions to the foster care system this week.
Well, I promised myself I would keep Wednesday's short so that I could focus on other things, but of course my readers screwed that up. This is why I wish I was famous. Famous people don't have to belittle or threaten others to gain fans...I can guarantee Oprah doesn't have this problem. (*Sigh*)This just proves, yet again, that I am as worthless as you are....Here's your quotes for the day. Enjoy them and try not to be such a huge disappointment in the future.
"Your parents didn't think about what they were doing for a second. They just reproduced like dumb apes, and here you are---part of the problem."
-Dr. Walter T. Pratt
"The law of averages would suggest that at some point in your life, someone has referred to you as "that idiot."-Dr. Walter T. Pratt
***On a manic note, thank you to everyone who has already become a fan. I can't tell you how much your support is appreciated!