Tuesday, September 8, 2009

Warning : Twilight Nerd Blogging

In an attemp to fill the gaping void my mother left inside me when she died, I've taken up many obsessions. At first, I researched every thing possible about heart attacks and death. Much to my dismay, these subjects didn't fix me. Instead they created a crippeling form of anixety that manafested itself in nightmares and bizare physical symptoms; like shortness of breath and heart palpitations. Convinced now that I was dieing just like my mother, I decided to talk to someone. After a few sessions with a Grief Counsler, I was determined to find something less macabre to fill the empty space. My counsler had suggested that I start reading fiction in a venture to escape reality and explore a less intense avenue. In my true fassion I put up a fight. I always despised fiction! I have a limited imagination that doesn't allow me to buy into urealistic stories chocked full of love bull-shit and mythical monsters. Or so I thought.

I decided to take a baby step and watch the "Twilight" movie. I had heard a lot of talk about it and it was on demand so it required no effort on my part. I figured If I could endure it I would try to read the books and make use of the advice my counsler had been paid to give me. When the movie was over it became very clear that she had guided me onto the right path. I was hooked and ready for more. I purchased the entire saga from the book store and obsessively read all four books in three days. It was great to spend some time in an alternate world where I was not the protagonist. The problem was that once I was finished, I longed desperately to escape again. I've re-read the books quite a few times and keep a copy of the film in my DVD player.

I know I should be embarrassed that at my age I've fallen so deeply into a tween craze, but I'm owning it. I wear my "Twilight" Team Edward shirt in public and I Google the latest movie news when I should be working on my book. My teenage sister thinks I'm nuts. She feels that I should find something more age appropriate. But how is it any different than being a "Star Wars" geek and sporting an R2-D2 T-shirt?(That's right, "Star Wars" fans, you look as ridiculous as I do)

The point of this blog is not to just humiliate myself, though I'm sure I've done a great job of that. I wanted to show a funny spoof that I found on You Tube while searching for bootlegged clips of the movie's sequel. I thought everyone would get a kick out of it regardless of if you're a Twilighter or not. Hope you laugh as hard as I did and please try not to judge me. I'm just trying to be happy again and if that means day dreaming about what I would do to a 17 year old Vampire; so be it!

object width="560" height="340">


  1. I am glad you overcame your anti-fiction book issue. But I am concerned about your soul since you are involved with the Satanic 'Twilight' stories. Leviticus 8, subsection 3 cleary states 'thou shall not read false idol bookage or thou will be cast down to hell.' i can suggest a nice blend of Pristiq and Neurontin to help with your "issues". Or just pray a lot. --Todd, Lake Worth, FL

  2. Dear Todd,
    While I appriciate your concern for my soul, I do have to remind you that your god also frowns on homosexuality. Remember, those that live in glass houses shouldn't throw stones. Maybe you should worry less about me and focus on why your god has forsaken you. --Jennie

  3. in that case you should be worried about the soul of your son. BAM!

  4. I didn't realize your kind ate baby souls. No wonder your god hates you. I'll remember not to bring my son to any Jonas Brother concerts.Thank you for the warning..