Tuesday, September 22, 2009

Introducing "You Are Worthless" Wednesday

If you do not have a sense of humor, please do not read Wednesday blogs. They are intended as a joke and nothing more. In other words, please do not read this and then credit me in a suicide note. I have no money for your angry family members to gain in a law suit and I am positive I would never survive in a penitentiary setting. However, If you like to laugh at dark humor, read on my worthless friend!

"You Are Worthless" Wednesday is dedicated to those who each day, get one step closer to jumping off the deep end. Does it ever bother you that when you're feeling depressed and lonely, people reach out with sugar-coated nuggets of useless wisdom? Do you ever think that maybe being optimistic is for chumps? As someone who is one meltdown away from the cuckoo's nest, I'd like to take the opportunity to show you why your misery is warranted and justified.

I recently ran across a book by Dr.Oswald T. Pratt and Dr. Scott Dikkers. They have collaborated on a book series called "Just Give Up". Dr. Pratt is a former psychiatrist who has had it with his patients whining and is ready to cut the B.S. and tell them like it is. Dr. Dikkers is from "The Onion." One of the books in the series, titled "You Are Worthless," is the inspiration for my new Wednesday blog segments.

But why am I doing this? Why am I quoting someone else's work instead of coming up with my own originals? Well, there are two reasons. I'll start with the most important. I am currently working on a book, that now, because of all my blogging (whose sole purpose was and is to gain interest for the book) has gone from my baby to my neglected, red-headed stepchild. Considering that the book is my ticket out of the depths of poverty (and this blog is completely free to the public), I think it's time to give it more attention.

The second reason is that I am just as worthless as you are and I hope that realization will inspire some dialogue between us. This blog has been very one sided. Maybe you have a quote or a thought to share. Think of all the ways hearing someone else's misery helps you feel better about your own current, pathetic situations. You can share your worthlessness anonymously (by clicking on the "Click to comment" link at the bottom of this blog) and it is a good way for you to give back and help someone other than yourself for a change. People helping people...It's a win-win...

I want you to know that on occasion some of the "You Are Worthless" Wednesday quotes will be originals from the Mouthy Mommy. After all, I may have a few extra minutes to kill while I'm trying to neglect house work, bill paying, or my family.I'm not sure... But in the mean time, the quotes will come from the book, mentioned above, with limited commentary from me. Know that this is only temporary. It's just a way to devote the time needed to get my book done, without the pressure of blogging two originals a week. So, that in mind here is your first worthless quote.. Enjoy it or don't, who cares!

Today's quote is about friendship...

"Let's sit down and actually count how many genuine, true friends you have. It's not that many is it? Actually, you probably don't have a single friend. Oh, except Jesus. He's your friend. Why don't you call him and see if he wants to hang out?"

Wow, this is a good one because it's able to crush your spirit and your faith all in one shot...

***Because I tend to be very self-absorbed, I like hearing feedback; good or bad. ( but especially the positive stuff. It strokes my ego and gives me a reason to pull my sorry ass out of bed every day!) So feel free to let me know if you like this or if I need to go in a new direction.

Hope you come back next week... Though, if you don't, I completely understand.


  1. Love reading your mouthy mom blogs Jennie! Keep them up!

  2. I'm Jewish so I cannot even count Jesus as a friend. Great.

  3. My guess is, even if you could count jesus he wouldn't be interested in having you..Sorry!-the mouthy mommy