Thursday, October 15, 2009

A Homeless Doll $95..Homeless Doll Story Book Bio $14.95..A New Mouthy Mommy Invention...Priceless

American Girls Mission Statement
Every story has a star.
Each American Girl is not only the star of a historical six-book series, but also a shining example for girls today. Lessons of love, friendship, courage, compassion, and tolerance are at the heart of every American Girl story.

In an attempt to cash in on our financial crisis and unemployment woes, American Girl is proudly bring a new girl into their clan of time period misfits. Her name is Gwen Thompson. She is blond, homeless, and dressed in a hippie inspired white dress and flip-flop sandals. (how appropriate) Her story is an unfortunate tale of a young girl who is abandoned by her deadbeat father and is forced to live in a car with her mother. A mother who because of her minimum wage salary and ex-husband's inability to pay child support, is unable to provide for her. The saddest part of the whole story is that American girl is expecting you to shell out $95 bucks for this homeless gypsy.

To cover their ass, American Girl released a statement stating that this doll will help "teach children compassion and tolerance." Sure it will. You just have to find a kid stupid enough to pick the homeless girl over the other more fun, less depressing girls. My guess is that the only people who would really want to buy Gwen are the people who's lives resemble hers so painfully...The problem is, if your kid needs this doll to relate to, chances are you can't afford to buy it. That is why I'm introducing a homeless doll that is not only affordable on any budget, but is a lot of fun too.

Here is Homeless Hannah...........

Hannah's Story

Hannah is a happy kid who loves her mom and wishes she knew her father. After her mother lost her job as a data processor because of methamphetamine use, they lost their house and were forced to live behind the local 7-11 store. When the Department of Child Protective Services found out about this, Hannah was moved to a home for girls until her mother cleaned up her act. After a year in the girls home, Hannah's mother was sober and ready to remarry a construction foreman she met in rehab. He had a nice house and Hannah was allowed to move back home. Life was super once again.

Hannah's story is one of hope and triumph. It is sure to give your homeless child the will to go on and the knowledge that sometimes living in a car is just a speed bump in the road of life.

How to create your own Homeless Hannah

Hannah is really two things in one; a fun arts and crafts project and a doll.
She is constructed out of products that I found lying around the house, but you can also find these things in dumpsters, fast food restaurants, the center console of your car and at the homeless shelter. She is easy to put together. Just follow the simple directions and she'll be joining your family in no time!

Here is a photo of all the things you'll need to create Hannah and her dream house.

Tape, pink Sharpie(for lips), a second Sharpie for the eyes, string (for hair), scissors (to cut out Hannah's outfits and home furnishings), glue (to attach hair) , a plastic spoon (the body), and any magazines you can find (for fashions and home furnishings).

To construct the dream house simply flip over your begging sign and glue the home furnishing photos to it. Because Hannah is basically two dimensional, you can just lean her against the home to make her look like she's inside.

**Here you can see Hannah getting ready for bed..Sleep tight Hannah!

Hannah's outfits are cut out of fashion magazines and taped to her spoon handle body. There is no end to her fashion possibilities.Especially if you hit up a nice neighborhood on recycling day.

For you green homeless moms out there, you'll be happy to know that Hannah is 100% recyclable and reusable. No spoon to eat those beans you heated on your cars radiator? Hannah can help! Strip off all Hannah's glamorous accessories and use her as an eating utensil. With her the possibilities are endless. Get cracking on yours today. Christmas is right around the corner!


  1. Damn, that homeless child dresses better than I do!

  2. jennie nadler milechmanOctober 16, 2009 at 3:10 PM

    I agree. she needs to look more scruffy!