Grocery Awareness

"Those old ladies at the grocery store who hand out free samples of pizza rolls are wiping their asses with those things before they hand them out"- Walter T. Pratt

There are a lot of things that suck about being an adult. It's really a shame too considering how badly I wanted to be one. To be honest, I feel like it was only yesterday that I was throwing my feet over the side of my twin sized bed, slapping on some Covergirl and tossing a messenger bag over my shoulder to get to high school. Looking back now- had I realized what was waiting for me- I might have tried to slow down and absorb more of my carefree childhood. But what does this have to do with old ladies using pizza rolls as toilet paper? Nothing really, but it's my blog and sometimes I like to be a little self indulgent when getting to the point.

The meat and potatoes of it is this; when your an adult you get stuck doing mundane and time consuming chores like laundry and cooking. You have to pay the bills and buy the groceries, all while maintaining a budget and stretching a dollar. When I set off on my own and had to start setting limits for my finances, the one thing I never cut corners on were groceries (and shoes). I don't know why, but I have always felt that food (and shoes) cost what it cost and if your working your ass off you deserve to at least eat what you want (and rock a bad ass pair of Steve Maddens)...Right?

Well, after a few years of throwing good money away at my local grocer, I had a kid and made some bargain savvy mom friends. These woman opened my eyes to a new world of food shopping corner cutting that has allowed me to still buy the things I love to eat without having to sacrifice that extra pair of patent leather pumps I'd been eyeing at the mall. Normally I'm not one to hit up the local Walmart for anything other than underwear, but these ladies have shown me what fist fighting white trash for a carton of eggs could do to help my budget and truthfully, it's worth it. Frozen foods, cereal, milk, and other household staples are dollars cheaper than the chain grocery store and that's just on the name brand stuff. If you want a real deal check out their store brand food.

Now before you turn your nose up at store brand food- as I always did until recently - hear me out. I did a little research and found that a lot of the things that are labeled store brand are actually the real deal with an uglier label. It wasn't easy to find the truth. In fact, Walmart was the only one remotely willing to admit to what they were using and it still took me a few hours of digging to come up with the few items I found. I guess it's some kind of conspiracy. That in mind, you may want to get your foil helmets out before you take a look at this list of products.

The Bargain List-Store Brands and Their Makers

FACT- "60% of name brand manufacturers produce store brands"-Private Label Association

Natures Own bread= Walmart brand ( the only difference is that they use a thinner bag for the store brand)

Hidden Valley makes all the oil and salad dressing for Target, Walmart and Winn Dixie

McCormick= all store brand spices

Pampers = Target brand diapers

All of the following are Walmart brands

Canned beans= Con Agra

Ketchup= Delmont

Canned veggies= Allen

Sugar= Imperial

Flour= Gold Medal

Ice Cream= Blue Bell

Frozen potatoes (french fries)= Orieda

Frozen veggies= Pictsweet

Pickles= Best Maid

Thick sliced bacon= Tyson

Worcestershire sauce= Lea & Parris

Tuna= Star Kist

Can ham= Hormel

Non-stick spray= Pam

Can tomatoes= Hunts

Chili sauce= Heinz

Vienna sausages= Armour

Pudding cups= Snak Pak

Popcorn= Pop Weaver

Yogurt= Yoplait

Coffee creamer= Nestle

P-nut butter= Peter Pan

Refrigerated biscuits and rolls= Kraft

Cookie dough= Nestle

Pot Pies= Banquet

Chocolate syrup= Nestle

Hot chocolate packets= Swiss Miss

Tea bags= Luizianne

**I want you all to know that during my research I did take a moment to check around and make sure that these store brands were not just retarded second cousins of the real deal. It turns out that not only are they from the same factory, but they also contain the same ingredients and quality. Like my mom friend told me; "It's not like they have strange little Mexicans growing tomatoes in their bathroom, so that Walmart can have cheaper ketchup." And she right, but you don't have to take my word for it. Go out and see for yourself and if you find some brands along the way that I missed, please add them in the comment section below.

Leash Laws

Though leashing your child in public is a growing trend these days, it was difficult for me to make the decision to try it. Growing up my mother was never shy about expressing her distaste for moms that pranced their children around in public like a two-legged Basset Hound. Her mentality was that if you instill the right amount of fear into a child they would fall in line like baby ducks and stick closely by their parents side. In our home she took the baby duck theory literally. We were forced, every time we entered a public place, to line up behind her, hands tightly locked behind our backs, and follow quietly.

My father, who was not the primary caregiver, found that this worked well in the presence of my mother, but left alone with him, he took his own precautions to keep us safe. One time during a father-daughter fishing trip, Dad decided not to take any chances and tightly secured a rope around my five-year-old waist while anchoring the loose end to the car door. Having a rambunctious little girl standing quietly on the bank beside him he needed insurance that there would be no water-induced incidents. I'm sure that he never filled my mother in on this, and it was probably for the better.

Because of my upbringing I too harbored a strong aversion to leashing children. It seemed absurd and embarrassing. That was until I had a rambunctious son of my own. As Carter grew and became more curious, he was less inclined to sit quietly in a stroller while I skipped around enjoying my freedom. When the struggle to keep him contained became to much (and my mother was dead and unable to comment), I broke down and bought a child harness.

I was able to purchase a fun, puppy dog, back pack leash at my local Target retailer for $11.99. The first time we used it I knew it was money well spent. Carter got his freedom, and I was able to shop without the fear of losing him in a crowd.

I noticed there were few instinctual things I wanted to do while I was out "walking" my son. I'm sure the feelings came from many years of owning a dog. I knew these urges were completely unacceptable and decided to make a few laws to help govern my behavior while we were out in public. If your new to leashing your child I hope these will help you too.

The Leash Laws

#1) Never, and by never I mean in front of onlookers, tug on the lead to make the child fall in line. At times it may be tempting when Jr's taking off on his own route, but just remember it looks a lot worse from an outsider's point of view. If you didn't have an obnoxious kid what would you think?

#2) It is not OK to tie your child to a park bench, car door, water fountain, lamp post, or chair leg. While it may allow you a short break from Jr, I promise the consequences are not worth it. Five years in prison for child neglect is not worth the five minutes of peace you'll receive.

#3) Do not drag your child unwillingly, legs buckling underneath him, through a department store. It may seem like a time saver (and it probably is) but nothing will make store clerks and patrons dial D.C.F faster.

#4) Don't be cheap! Buy a real child harness. Home-made versions like my father's "safety" rope may be tempting because it will only set you back about 2 bucks, but I promise the barbaric nature of it will call more attention to you than just letting Jr run a muck through JC Penny's. Trust me it's worth the $12.00.

While these laws may help you control your animal instincts while "walking" your little monster, know that by no means, does it reduce the embarrassment you feel with that animal tail leash fashioned tightly around you wrist. People will stare, old ladies will comment, but keep in mind it's whats on the end of the rope that really matters. Your just providing safety.

If you want to check out the harness I purchased clink on this link:

http://target.com/Eddie-Bauer-Harness-Buddy-Monkey/dp/B001OB9LBI

They come in a variety of different animal buddies.