"Technology... is a queer thing. It brings you great gifts with one hand, and it stabs you in the back with the other." ~C.P. Snow, New York Times, 15 March 1971
Ok, so taking a job that requires me to drive around all day to set locations is turning out to be a nightmare. Though it in part has to do with my terrible sense of direction, it has more to do with the car navigation system I hijacked from my more oriented husband.
In the last 2 weeks since I've started using- what I refer to as- the "Mug-gellan" car navigation system, I have had more near death experiences and trips through seedy neighborhoods than most crack heads do when they have 40 bucks in their pocket and a bicycle at their disposal. There is no doubt that one day this thing will lead to me being mugged or at this rate dead. As the days go on I am becoming increasingly suspicious of this -seemingly- benign piece of equipment. And though I feel crazy asking this- is it possible for an electronic to try to kill you?
Ok, so taking a job that requires me to drive around all day to set locations is turning out to be a nightmare. Though it in part has to do with my terrible sense of direction, it has more to do with the car navigation system I hijacked from my more oriented husband.
In the last 2 weeks since I've started using- what I refer to as- the "Mug-gellan" car navigation system, I have had more near death experiences and trips through seedy neighborhoods than most crack heads do when they have 40 bucks in their pocket and a bicycle at their disposal. There is no doubt that one day this thing will lead to me being mugged or at this rate dead. As the days go on I am becoming increasingly suspicious of this -seemingly- benign piece of equipment. And though I feel crazy asking this- is it possible for an electronic to try to kill you?
If I haven't made it clear, my Mug-gellan is a real asshole! Today, instead of directing me to make a quick u-turn in order to arrive on time and safely to my destination, it advised me to turn onto a small side street and continue 3 blocks to a crack house. This is not a joke or a lie. Muggy -as I will refer to it from here on- insisted (in its high soprano girl voice) that I must turn left onto 36th street. The problem was that 36th Street had been replaced by one of the most dilapidated shacks I have ever seen and in front of said shack, sat two skinny toothless men on 5 gallon paint buckets. (Sadly dad, no shower caps) It looked like something straight out of the TV show "Cops" and as I sat in my car- quickly adjusting my door locks- I couldn't help but wonder how long it would take real cops to get here if I needed assistance. I also contemplated whether or not a crack den would moon light as a Xanax distribution center, but I didn't want a reason to thank Muggy for sending me into the hood.
Thankfully, I was able to backtrack my way out of there alive and sober. I also managed to find my way- completely unassisted- to the smart untainted u-turn. I felt a real sense of accomplishment when I got to my destination with just seconds to spare-all by my own doing, might I add- and silently wondered why I didn't just go old school and use a fucking paper map. After all it's not like this was the first time Muggy pulled a stunt like this. Last week she insisted that every location I programed in did not exist, tried to make me turn on a one way the wrong way and once she even called me a cunt... Ok, that last parts a lie, but I'm sure she was thinking it.
Thankfully, I was able to backtrack my way out of there alive and sober. I also managed to find my way- completely unassisted- to the smart untainted u-turn. I felt a real sense of accomplishment when I got to my destination with just seconds to spare-all by my own doing, might I add- and silently wondered why I didn't just go old school and use a fucking paper map. After all it's not like this was the first time Muggy pulled a stunt like this. Last week she insisted that every location I programed in did not exist, tried to make me turn on a one way the wrong way and once she even called me a cunt... Ok, that last parts a lie, but I'm sure she was thinking it.
