My name is Jennie and this is my story of online dating in the year 2014…
In the last year since I have tried my rounds on the dating circuit I have learned many things, most of them things that I hate about the opposite sex. For example, men with tiny feminine hands or as I like to call them “hobbit hands,” I know this is superficial, but as a woman with a healthy sized claw the thought of those delicate fingers caressing my body gives me the creeps and I will instantly want to end the date and move on to the next huge embarrassing failure that is coming into my love life. Not to worry though because once I’ve burned through Hobbit Hands along comes Chewy! You know the guy who chews his food like a cow or possibly eat so loudly that the entire restaurant is concerned that he’s eating a plate of glass. Or maybe he just gets that white stuff in the corner of his mouth when he speaks. Either way Chewy, like Hobbit Hands makes online dating feel like a game of Russian roulette. You never know when one of those gems is going to come screaming out of the chamber, but you can always be sure when it does nothing good will be left in the wake…
Now there has been the rare occasion where I have gotten through the first few dates without incident and even thought to myself “Hey, this could work.” That seems to be the point when all my reason and common sense takes a backseat, blindfolds itself and prepares to be taken on Mr. Toads wild bullshit journey through crazy town. It usually starts with a few nice comfortable dates. The conversation is good. He’s funny. He’s smart. He tells me I’m funny and beautiful and smart. Sounds good so far and there are no hobbit hands. His eating habits are far from questionable. I begin to let down my guard and put my cards on the table. At 31, I feel that I’m past the point of playing the chase me game, so I like to lead with my expectations and what I’m looking for. If it’s not for you say so now…. The moment comes and goes and we are both on the same page. OK, we're good! The guard can lower some more. And here is where we talk about the first life lesson to come out of this- the power of the Google… Had I been smart with the first dickbag that claimed to be on the “same page” as me I would have Googled him and easily found that he was married and had a hand full of children. Instead, I took the wild ride and got two lessons for the price of one. I found out about the wife when she stormed into the bar and came up behind me and slapped him silly. Hence, why I never sit with my back towards the door, EVER and I always do a public record search before I let you get anywhere near the goods! Guy number two was a little more stealth. He managed to sneak past me because he wasn’t a born American so somewhere in my mind I gave him a pass on the Google. Don’t get me wrong I still did my research but I waited longer than usual. Oh, there was just something about the way he said “aboot”… Anyway, when asshat number two claimed to be on the “same page” he even went as far as to do some futurescaping. That’s where they say things like, oh if you and I are together then we can do bla-bla-bla. In a month we can do intros with your son. Would you go with me here or there? They landscape the future with you. Of course it’s all complete bullshit and it means absolutely nothing, but they get what they need from this. Whether it be sex, or time, money, dinners, attention, whatever it is they need they get it from you. Especially someone like myself who has what I lovingly refer to as "mommy issues". Most girls have daddy issues. They want a man to love them and take care of them. They want a big guy to sweep them off their feet and rescue them. Not me! Oh no, I have the opposite. I want to mother you and save you and accommodate your every whim. So what ends up happening is, I get used and they move on to some bimbo with daddy issues that doesn’t need to control every situation and is actually in need of a man. Which is what I can only assume happened in this situation, because after three weeks of running hot he completely forgot how to use any means of communication and left me hanging in the breeze without so much as a go to hell. What a dream boat ladies! He’s back on the market if anyone’s interested and lesson 3 and 4 if you are keeping track are know your own issues and never fall for the futurescapes. The real stuff is tangible everything else is just smoke amd mirrors.
So here I am today, a little bitter and wounded, but ready to brush myself off and go for another round. I un-hid my profile on one of the world’s worst dating sights so that a bunch of four's that think their eight's can ask me for full body pictures and call me a prude when I decline. And though I told my step-mom I was going to use the $40 bucks she gave me to join JDate to buy a vibrator instead, I may just take her up on the offer and see if there are any nice Jewish boys out there in need of a bitter gal with mommy issues that knows one hell of a way around Google and won’t stand to have her back towards the restaurant door.
I can relate to this on SOOOOOOOOOO many levels! Let me warn you that most guys on JDate have mommy issues, the #1 issue being that they dont want to move out of mommy's house! ~Jenn W.
ReplyDeleteThanks for the heads up!
ReplyDeleteI would be curious how YOUR dating has progressed over the last 90 days. Has your perception of the male, changed ?
ReplyDeleteLet me be clear... I was never looking for the perfect guy, just someone who was "perfect for me," someone who is the best kind of fucked up as I realize that I am no gem myself. I can say in the last 90 days I have been lucky enough to find someone who makes me feel like a better version of myself. Who's company I not only enjoy, but that I look forward to. I'm not a fool, I realize that with newness come a sense of invincibility however, I also know the importance of enjoying the good while you have it. The truth is, for me at least, dating sucked. I had a rough go and it would have been really easy for me to become bitter and assume that every guy would suck just as much as the ones that came before. Luckily, I didn't and because of that I was able to find someone that was exactly what I was looking for even if I wasn't quite sure what that was. So,I guess if you're asking if my perception of men has changed, I would have to say no because I've always felt that every person has the opportunity to be awesome or suck. And as much as It's up to them to show me which they are it's also up to me to find something good in everyone. I don't know who said it but, for sure they said it best; Everyone is fucked up. You just have to decide what kind of fucked up you're into. And for now at least I've decided...
DeleteNeed some Fun Date Ideas? You've come to the right place. A lot of the fun dating ideas listed below are not recommended as a first date unless you know the person very well or have known them for a long time. But if you have had a few dates and want to really impress, the list below should be just what your looking for! New Jersey personals
ReplyDeleteThis comment has been removed by the author.
ReplyDeleteconstantly on the web? Terrible sign. How might they fit in that energizing life on the off chance that they are constantly signed in? It likewise recommends they may date parts and loads of individuals, which for some is OK, however not for the hypersensitive. As per measurements, 53% of individuals overviewed confessed to dating two individuals at the same time, so be readied.at this site
ReplyDeleteTedious old dating convention bit by bit vanished and singles found online dating additionally fascinating and energizing. Singles incline toward online dating a superior method to locate their sole-mate.Virginia mates
ReplyDeleteSo, you've decided to try speed dating, but you have no idea what you are going to ask your speed dates? Here are some speed Dating questions ideas...
ReplyDeleteThis comment has been removed by the author.
ReplyDeleteFew persons might disagree that compensated dating websites are better quality than free dating sites. Most of us, however, don't care. We would only somewhat make use of a free dating website and keep our credit card firmly hidden in our budget or purse. Did you understand, however, that you need to use several compensated dating websites as if they were really absolutely free dating websites? You can; it is true. What is more, you is likely to be happier for using a paid dating website; free dating websites come with huge disadvantages. Within the next few paragraphs you will understand why it is most beneficial to employ a compensated dating service for free in place of joining a absolutely free dating site. http://www.orangeescorts.com/
ReplyDeleteThis comment has been removed by the author.
ReplyDeleteThe main difference between dating and being in a relationship is that people in a relationship are connected by a mutual commitment to each other. You and the person you're with have agreed, either officially or unofficially, that you're seeing each other exclusively and are in a partnership together
ReplyDeleteMajor thankies for the article post.Really looking forward to read more. Escort in Lahore
ReplyDeleteIt takes colossal figuring out how to make this bit of craftsmanship.
ReplyDeleteClick This Link
It is normal that one is asking how annoying would come into a dating relationship when the couples are not hitched. his secret obsession reviews
ReplyDeleteWhen you do get off the telephone does your dating accomplice give you an exhaustive round of questioning? www.seksitreffit.cam
ReplyDeleteThank you for helping people get the information they need. Great stuff as usual. Keep up the great work!!!
ReplyDeleteBest Dating App London
A ton of mature singles more likely than not knew about one of those free mature dating sites. mature dating sites
ReplyDeleteFurthermore, dating is likewise only for hanging out. This implies, dating with at least one mates or a gathering of companions that comprises of various genders or both genders only a stimulation.dig this
ReplyDeleteThis comment has been removed by the author.
ReplyDeleteThe manner in which your dates treat you and the open doors that come your direction are dictated by your frame of mind, vitality and your feeling of self. In many cases, it feels great to accuse others, yet you know instinctively that it isn't right godatenow
ReplyDeleteYou know your projects stand out of the herd. There is something special about them. It seems to me all of them are really brilliant!
ReplyDeleterich sugar daddy dating site
Try not to cry about your inadequacies. It will plant seeds of uncertainty into your accomplice's head. It puts you further under magnifying instrument and could in the end persuade him/her that you are bad enough.
ReplyDeleteclick here
This particular papers fabulous, and My spouse and i enjoy each of the perform that you have placed into this. I’m sure that you will be making a really useful place. I has been additionally pleased. Good perform! meet my sugar daddy
ReplyDeleteIt might not be fair, but millionaires simply draw respect without even saying a word. They pull up in their iPod-white stretch limousine. at DaddyDesire.review
ReplyDeleteThe majority of mainstream online dating web sites will offer this basic dating feature on their web site so be certain to take advantage of profile building to boost your presence.free dating
ReplyDeleteSuch a strikingly basic article.I basically wish to offer a creature proceed for the standard data you have perfect here on this post. muslim singles
ReplyDeleteThanks for taking the time to discuss this, I feel strongly about it and love learning more on this topic. muslim singles
ReplyDeleteThank you so much for the post you do. I like your post and all you share with us is up to date and quite informative, i would like to bookmark the page so i can come here again to read you, as you have done a wonderful job. sexy women
ReplyDeleteI just got to this amazing site not long ago. I was actually captured with the piece of resources you have got here. Big thumbs up for making such wonderful blog page! Doujin
ReplyDeleteGreat survey, I'm sure you're getting a great response. KONCHIL - Скачать порно на телефон бесплатно
ReplyDeleteTook me time to read all the comments, but I really enjoyed the article. It proved to be Very helpful to me and I am sure to all the commenters here! It’s always nice when you can not only be informed, but also entertained! How to be happy in life
ReplyDeleteI like viewing web sites which comprehend the price of delivering the excellent useful resource free of charge. I truly adored reading your posting. Thank you! voyance tel
ReplyDeleteThere are benefits of matchmaking dating for a wide variety of people which is great because it provides a greater variety of people that could end up in your dating pool.Relationship Advice
ReplyDeleteDo not be judgmental. If you saw something quite familiar that reminds you of your ex, avoid being judgmental. Avoid comparing your date from your ex-husband. Give your date a chance for you to know him better. Be open-minded and remember that no two individuals are the same and every person is different.Sugar Mummies in Indonasia
ReplyDeleteAfter your date reveals to you a story, catch up with certain remarks or inquiries to exhibit that you are interested or astounded and show that you are tuning in. cuckold sites for dating
ReplyDeleteYou most likely will have the option to tell inside the initial two months in the event that somebody is eager to be submitted or simply out for something easygoing.
ReplyDeletethreesome finder
. By being completely and totally what our identity is, we at that point pull in relationships that reflect back to us the completion of our imaginative being. It is the well established saying: What we put out is the thing that we get back.
ReplyDeletecouple for men
find out how long your potential date has been online dating. Some are addicted to dating. You don't want to be another short term fix. 룸알바
ReplyDeleteGet her alone with you. This is the hardest advance. You can't state "how about we return home for sex", yet you can say "goodness, you should rapidly fly into my place so I can show you ". adultdatingsites.review
ReplyDeleteThis blog through it words has provided a key to literacy.
ReplyDeletelesbian dating
It couldn't be less complex, yet it will truly upgrade your sea shore subject such that plain white tent cards never could. escort girls in Abu Dhabi
ReplyDeletet is easy to create an account for free, and instead of paying a membership fee, you can buy credits for chatting or other activities. Y free sexting
ReplyDeleteCoupleLookingForWomen.com has launched for 14 years and millions of bisexual women and bi couples joined the site to explore three way dating. how to find a unicorn
ReplyDeleteNo one is truly stressed over dating somebody somewhat more limited, more established or stockier - we as a whole simply need to meet somebody we can make some life-memories of fun with, and extravagant all in all too. Lying before you have even yet met isn't just ugly, it doesn't look good for what's to come. look for threesome
ReplyDeleteHey great post I truly enjoyed reading it!
ReplyDeleteLove Tips for Couples
Conversation starters are extremely common and reach from coy and cordial to revolting and frightening. There is a fair compromise, and those are sweet conversation starters. eyes chat up lines
ReplyDelete